


Hands to Myself

by AlyssAlenko



Series: Stolen Moments for Shoker [7]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coping, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Language, Love, Mild Language, Morning Kisses, Morning Sex, Neck Kissing, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Project Lazarus, Reunions, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Sex, Sexual Content, Soulmates, Trust, post-death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12501048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssAlenko/pseuds/AlyssAlenko
Summary: Two years after Shepard's death and her rebuild with Project Lazarus, Joker is still having nightmares about seeing the love of his life suffocate alone in space, feeling guilty because she'd died trying to save him. Shepard tries her best to make him forget the phantoms of the night, in a way only she can...Beta'd by the amazingLauraEMoriarty, Thanks!





	Hands to Myself

The only other sound in the room besides his deep even breaths, was the occasional rustle of paper as she turned a page, the book in front of her absorbing all her attention. It was still very early, but she never could sleep through the night. Abigail started as Joker turned over suddenly, brow furrowed, throwing his arm possessively across her lap and pulling her towards him, relaxing slightly as he snuggled closer. Even in sleep, he didn't loosen his grip. She cocked her head to the side, running her free hand gently up and down his arm, hoping her touch would push the nightmare he seemed to be having to the back of his mind; she wondered if she should wake him, curious as to what he was dreaming about...he seemed disturbed by whatever it was, his eyebrows knitting together once more. She slipped a bookmark into her book, marking her place and setting it on the nightstand before she bent and kissed his forehead. He mumbled something unintelligible, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes, his hands clenching into fists.

“Abigail!” He screamed, jerking awake.

“I’m here, Jeff; right here...it was only a bad dream.”

He shook his head slowly. “But it wasn’t. I had to watch you die, knowing it was my fault.”

In an instant, he was enveloped in her arms, his head held against her chest as she stroked his hair, whispering words of comfort into his ear. He shook uncontrollably; she hadn’t really thought about what watching her die had done to him, reliving every moment of her suffocating above Alchera over and over again for two years. The guilt of refusing to abandon ship...guilt of watching her getting spaced and him surviving, had eaten him up inside.

She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together as she brought his hand up to her chest and placed it over her heart so he could feel her heartbeat pulsing under his fingertips, her eyes finding his as her free hand trailed from his hair, down his jawline and neck, drawing him against her body before she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and tugged him even closer. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply, his beard tickling her and making her giggle, everything about her perfect and familiar; there were some things Cerberus couldn't have known about to copy, mannerisms he’d caught during their time together...she was his Abigail alright. The thought made him relax in her arms, draping his leg over both of hers.

Until Joker had gotten the call from The Illusive Man, he’d been hitting the drinks far too hard, cursing himself and the fact that she hadn't made it out, suffocating in the vacuum of space—dying alone as he watched. He’d barely been hanging on by a thread. Kaidan and Anderson had checked on him constantly, but it wasn't enough; he wanted _her_. Then he’d gotten the call, and allowed himself to hope again, told himself he was getting a second chance to keep her safe and tell her how he felt, even if he still hadn't, he’d shown her ample times, but hadn't been able to put it into words yet, not like she had; ever since that first day on their brand new Normandy when she’d let it slip, those three little words were always on the tip of her tongue, but she never pushed him to say it back, waiting for him to come around on his own. Abigail got that he wasn't big on emotions, and she loved him anyway.

“I know it doesn't make the last two years go away, but I love you and I’m here now...I’m never leaving you again.” She whispered, smoothing his hair away from his forehead and kissing his brow.

Maybe, in time, that would be enough to make the nightmares go away, but for the time being he contented himself with the feeling of her skin against his. Joker pressed a kiss to her collarbone, reveling in the fact that her pulse fluttered at his touch. His hand slipped from her heart tugging the covers down before returning to cup her naked breast gently, his mouth leaving a trail of teasing kisses up her neck before he found her lips and pulled her harder against him, her mouth moving frantically against his own. He didn't want to keep his hands to himself—needed to reassure himself that she was really here and he wasn't dreaming...though with the way her heartbeat sped up and pulsed against his tongue as he claimed her neck again, he knew he wasn't. 

She arched against him.

“Help me forget the phantoms of the night, Abs; remind me how your skin feels pressed against mine, how you react as I stir you up inside, make me _believe_ you dying on me was only a bad dream.” His voice in her ear was low and husky, but betrayed his worry—he was shaken by this.

Abigail reluctantly pushed him back at the shoulders, her blue eyes searching his as her lower lip disappeared underneath her teeth. “Are you sure this is how you want to handle this? I’m not saying no, but I want you to think about what you’re asking...is this really what you want?”

He paused considering her words before nodding slowly. “I've never wanted anything or anyone more.”

“Then lie back, love; I’ll make sure you know you’re awake, and blow your mind while I'm at it. I'm in the mood not to keep my hands to myself.” She winked, pushing his chest with a gentle hand, her fingers running through his chest hair. “Afterwards, I’ll run to the mess and make us breakfast so you can take your medication.”

He frowned—he should've known Chakwas would enlist Abigail to make him take his medicine; if he listened to anyone, he listened to her, though if it meant he got to spend his morning making her scream his name, it was worth it. She threw one of her legs over his, settling herself on his thighs as she shot him a mischievous smile bending over him and placing featherlight kisses on his neck and chest. Her touches were teasing, barely there at all, but his body was on fire...and that was before she headed south, kissing a burning trail down his stomach, nails scraping down his torso softly. A moan rumbled past his lips as she kissed the underside of his erect shaft; while not what he had in mind, it wasn't like he minded...he’d just expected to be inside her and have her ride him into the mattress, but like always, she’d had other ideas.

She slipped a hand between them rubbing his shaft where it curved up towards his stomach before bending her head down to kiss her way up his shaft, taking it fully into her hand and giving it a playful tug. Joker groaned and arched into her hand, pulsing in her palm under her touch as she caressed him with her fingertips, traipsing gently up and down his long, thick erection. Her hand curled around him pumping him slowly, watching as the precum bubbled up from the tip, crystal blue eyes followed the trail of the droplet before she leaned downward and licked him from base to tip, collecting the bead on her tongue. With a twinkle in her eye, she licked the wide, wet tip with flat, broad strokes; the thick head disappeared between her lips and she sucked lightly before releasing him.

His responding moan made her smile.

She used her right hand to stroke him gently while her tongue danced across and around the head, pink lips opening to take him fully into her mouth making his hips jerk under her attentions, as she swallowed around his tip again and again. She started to hum as she sucked hard, the rolling motion massaging the skin on his shaft, before releasing him, her lips leaving his crown with a pop. Joker swallowed hard, a shiver racking his body. Her hand was strong, movements slow as it glided smoothly over his head again and again, squeezing his shaft and pushing back down to the base. She held him tighter, her right hand had his shaft in a vice grip, the new sensation causing his hips to surge forward, pushing his arousal through her tight fist. Just a little more...

“Shit, Abs…” He panted, trailing off; the lust clouding his mind wouldn't let him form complete sentences.

She giggled. “How am I doing?”

Joker growled low in his throat; she’d certainly done what she’d promised, and for that he was eternally grateful...he’d have to thank The Illusive Man when he had a chance, but for now he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Her eyes followed his movements, and he realized she’d stopped moving her hands, keeping his orgasm just out of reach. Little tease. It was fine, he’d had something else in mind from the start; he reached down, hands closing around her upper arms and pulling her up along his body, catching her lips in a rough kiss. She sighed happily against his mouth and pressed every inch of her skin against his; if he really was dreaming, he didn't ever want to wake up, not if it meant she wasn't going to be there...

“That was fantastic. Now do me a favor, and ride me ‘til I can't see straight.”

Abigail smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
